April 21, 2003
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You’re beautiful, but I’ll just think of you when I jack off
I’m procrastinating… plus my brain is still trying to function properly after this weekend. Whew…
Do you ever have one of those mornings where you ponder profusely about what to wear? Like, should you wear that white, stretch poplin Banana Republic button-up or that tight blood red Paul Frank t-shirt with a picture of a barbecue on it? Should I wear the sand colored suede Liam flip flops or the retro suede Pumas? Should I wear that g-string that I got freshman year, or go commando? Why should I even care? I’m so gay…
The point being, I feel as if many of us folk, me included, are preoccupied with this constant presentation of oneself like those of a peacock in heat. All for what? To wander to my classes and take notice of the cute boy who’s wearing a tight black tanktop and an enormous bulge emanating from his low rise jeans? Bah. We take notice of each other in passing, but what if you do see that cute girl with the peter pan haircut, or that boy with the eyebrow piercing? Do you even do anything? Perhaps turn around, cry out “Hot damn muthafucka!” and point your finger at them like a smoldering gun?
Nothing ever happens (this, of course, is outside the context of clubs/bars/whorehouses). We continue with our lives and perhaps dream up scenarios of how we’d present ourselves, what they’d be like… or just use them for lustful desires later that evening.
Someone told me that New York City is one of the most loneliest places. I somewhat agree… passing thousands of faces everyday, occasionally connecting through a fleeting glare of cold apathy… “Oh, I like her shoes.” And her humanity is measured by the price of dead cow skin…
So I’ve learned not to really care if my shirt isn’t completely pressed, or my precious tendrils of hair aren’t coifed to the best of its ability, or that I have a cum stain by my fly. Whenever I find myself berating my boyish good looks, I stop and think 1. Hmm, I’m not that unattractive, and 2. if someone found me attractive in passing anyway, what would it matter? They wouldn’t really do anything. Maybe creepy prolonged eye contact or a pat on the ass. It’s all arbitrary. In other words, people could really care less what you look like since no one is going to remember you anyway… unless you have a massive goiter on the side of your neck.
I’m sure there are a lot of holes to this argument, but I’m proposing two things: 1. Pink is hardcore, and 2. Make eye contact with me and acknowledge my humanity, damnit. Smile out of friendliness, open that door out of kindness, and treat me with heart… otherwise I’ll kill you.
Peace in the middle east.
Comments (14)
Hot damn muthafucka, that was a great post (long overdue as it was). I need a ciggy.
That’s why I wear only old baggy shorts, a Quiksilver tshirt, shoes, and a hat. Nobody to impress. Never had anyone to impress.
I’m too afraid of eye contact. It might be that I’m born in the Year of the Dog so if I make direct eye contact for too long I’ll get frightened. I do smile a lot though.
LMAO stands for (Laughing My Ass Out)
thanks for stopping by my site
uve read my mind…but i still like to look nice since mebe that blue moon has come and someone may actually make a stab at saying hi and getting to know me and find out i AM as weird as i look…neways…it was good talking to ya again…keep up the posting when ur in japan…sense the optimism?
oh my god.
how can you not care if your shirt is pressed? What’s life without external validation?
Get out of West Hollywood — your membership is on probation.
Just kidding.
Bytheway, my eyeballs are made of candy.
So so true.
I’ll open YOUR door, baby…heh heh. Anyway, I hear from a certain Dan Nies that a certain GAYSIAN (as he spelled it – damn heterosexuals!) wants to meet me…perhaps a little hetero-to-homo love connection happenin here? Ah, the world can only dream…
Great post.
hahahaha.
well.. wear what you please.. if u ask my roomates.. im hella indecisive. i can be a wear a stretch pomplin from banana republic with a pair of shredded cargo shorts from ae and some reef’s yo. Or i could be a surfer dood and wear hollister shirt with shorts from gap. hehehe.
clothing is just clothing.. when u reach college.. no one really gives a shit. hahaha. but if you still do.. go for it jason.
random links got me here… but your dry yet accessible sense humor got me to stay and finish reading the whole entry. dig the writing style… and the kick-ass pic in the profile even more.
yeah…as much as i say i do, and i try to dress to impress only myself, i do pay extra special attention to my garments the day i know that i just might HAPPEN to pass by one of my crushes. i never realized just how stoopid that is, cuz yes! they dont even notice! and if they do, they dont say anything, and i dont say anything…and AUGH!!! but thats okay. these are all just infatuations anyways. when someone special comes along theyll notice me in one of my star wars tees and not that f*cking uncomfortable short-as* skirt.
awesome entry! good reads…
hay cool site drop me a line some time bye wink wink
*Makes Eye Contact & Smiles cuz I’m insane, err…Outta Kindness*
I could care less wut people see me in…It all seems so plastic to me. You pretty yourself all up, to make your self way enticing, but is that really the real you, or just some part you play in the theatrical presentation called “Life!” Screw it, I dress for me. If someone sees me and judges me shallowly by the clothes I wear… their loss. If they decide they think I’m attractive, then they like me for me (or whateva) and they’ve seen the real me. Buts that’s just me…
Echos…PINK IS HARDCORE!!!
Heh heh, you know I found you really attractive when I saw you…and for me to actually DO something about it?! I’ve done that a total of two times in my whole life. You’re always cute and hot to me…even with a cum stain on your fly…
= P